One Month

Today I have been in Limoges, France for exactly four weeks. At times it feels like I have been here forever. As if I have walked these streets and known the people I now spend my time with for years. It seems like this is how life has always been. I have memories of another place, other friends, and a different language. But, those memories are distant. At other times, those memories come crashing into the forefront of my thoughts, and I am transported home. I see the faces of dear friends and hear their voices vividly. I recall moments of laughter and rehearse conversations as if I were living those moments over again. My heart breaks, and I long to be back in the States. At these times I realize my time here has been pretty short and four months to live away from home isn't that long in the grand scheme of things. That is a comforting thought. (And there is always Facebook. Keep writing to me friends. I may not respond very quickly, but I'm reading every word.)

This first month has been one of much transition. Obviously moving to a foreign country is a huge transition, but I've found myself changing in unexpected ways. A few days after arriving in Limoges I went to the orientation for exchange students. The whole thing was in rapid French, and I had absolutely no idea what was going on the whole time. I felt so overwhelmed. Before I arrived in France I had this idea that at the end of four months I would be fluent in French and able to converse at ease. That rosy idea was shattered at the orientation. I knew then that learning to speak French was going to be a long slow processes for me. But, I was overwhelmed for more than the difficulty with the language. The end of one week found me completely freaked out about being here. A knot of fear was perpetually lodged in my stomach. I felt alone and helpless and very inadequate. All my coping skills were failing, and I cried myself to sleep most nights. However, I stopped worrying long enough to pray and felt so much more at peace about the whole situation. I realized I had been deeply concerned about how people here perceive me and I had been trusting in my own ability to succeed. I didn't want to look foolish, and I definitely didn't want to admit that I was inadequate in anyway.

But, you see, I was trying to live for my own glory in all those attempts at looking like I have everything together. As a friend put it so well in an email to me, this situation shows me for who I really am, lost and incapable in every way without Christ. Christ has come and he covers my inadequacies with his life, and he has not left me alone. In this truth I have found great freedom. I don't speak French very well, but I am here to learn and looking foolish in the process in ok. I don't have that knot of fear anymore. When I live acknowledging my failures, I can point to the work of Christ on my behalf and rest in his ability.

Hey, good news, I get internet in my room TOMORROW!! So, I will have more time for blogging. I know the posts have been more than sparse.

Hello from France

I promised all you Norman dwellers and dear friends that I would start a blog to keep everyone posted on what's happening here on the other side of the Atlantic.

Well, I started my journey to Limoges, France on August 31. I made a day stop over in London and then caught a cheap flight on to France. The day in London consisted of stumbling sleepily on and off the Underground and through city streets with the words 'please mind the gap' running through my mind. I saw lots of wonderfully old buildings, ate a plate of real English 'Fish and Chips', and took a nap in a beautiful old park. All in all, it was a good day. But, I wish I could have had someone to share it with. I think some day I would like to go back to England and stay a bit longer.

Here are a few pictures from the day.